Hustle, grind, fast, force, hurry, manhandle, pressure, badger, pester, hound.

None of these words make me feel good. And though I’m a fan of Gary Vaynerchuk, there’s something about the way he boasts about hustling that makes me do a ridiculously long eye roll.

Even though I despise the before-mentioned, I still somehow manage to find myself working until 5 am, getting 3 hours of what some would call a nap and wake up to do it all over again.

Today my sister-friend Stacey sent me a message on Facebook

“Hey love, how’s it going? I know you’re in creative mode – big time!”

It seems as though I’m in creative mode 24/7. Even when I’m asleep my brain somehow manages to be sorting things I’ve done, need to do or planning to do.  I told Stacey that some of my plans weren’t going as planned and because of that I was having a slight freak out moment.

I think everyone needs a Stacey in their life because she manages to ask the right questions, say the right things or poses a new thought to consider at just the right time. She asked, ” What if you gave yourself permission…..?”. Immediately I felt my body tense up because giving myself permission to push back this event that I’ve been planning would mean I would need to go back on my word. It would mean that the event wouldn’t be the date I set it for. It would mean I’d have to email the speakers and tell them the date has been pushed back.
It would also mean I could breathe easier. I’d have more time to plan my event so that everything happens the way I envisioned it, if not better. If you’ve spent time with me you know that I take pride in doing things in the Spirit of Excellence. It’s really important to me that everything not only looks and feels good but that it’s quality. But there are also times when I don’t give myself permission to practice radical self-care.
 Well, what does radical self-care look like, Jay? To me, it looks like saying no to all the things that stress you, put an enormous amount of pressure on you (whether self-inflicted or not), or causes you to miss out on necessities such as sleep, water, and food. It looks like saying YES to slowing down, tuning in and turning on; it looks like figuring out what you need- what makes you happy and giving yourself permission to have more of that a lot more often.
 Lately, I’ve been taking more time to be more introspective. I’ve been paying more attention to the things that matter to me like playing with my amazing dogs. exploring more of my city, reading books I haven’t read, taking longer showers (I already take long showers), dancing slower, longer. I’ve been cooking foods that nourish me. I’ve been talking to my ancestors, angels and Spirit Guides more. I’ve been speaking what I want into existence daily. I’ve been spending less time on facebook and more time connecting with people face to face.
 I’m realizing that a lot of the ideas I had around what my business, life, and personal relationships should look like was just…bullshit. I’m realizing that time really is just an illusion and that it’s safe for me to slow down to speed up. I’ve learned so many lessons within the past couple of weeks that have been life-altering and for that I’m grateful.
 What do you need to give yourself permission to do today?
 Head outside and enjoy nature today, call up your bestie or treat yourself to a nice, yummy dinner or even some mind-blowing sex. Whatever it is, allow yourself the chance to experience less hustle and more flow. When you’re flowing you’re in tune and when you’re in tune everything feels greater. And the feeling is where the magic happens.


  1. Stacey Herrera

    ” I’m realizing that time really is just an illusion and that it’s safe for me to slow down to speed up.” <— this right here! We can create so much space in our lives if we just allow ourselves to slow down, but we have been conditioned to be moving all the time. And I'm with you, I love Gary and everything… but I am not with the hustle. The energy of hustle feels like the expressway to burn out.

    But slowing down… that feels delicious. Savoring the moment. Relishing in ease. Basking in the "nowness" of every single experience. So delicious!!!

    Thank you for creating this beautiful space. For speaking truth so eloquently. And for modeling self love, care, and acceptance… so beautifully. Deep bow sisterfriend 🙏🏾

    • prettywildsoul

      The expressway to burnout is so accurate!

      And THANK YOU for being a part of this space, greatness! Deep bow to you! XOXO


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